Bittersweet Life...

Monday, July 12, 2004

ok, im goin to abble and rant about last nite's dinner. so bear with me aite? wait, firstly today was amazing. had great fun during a math lessons. miss yong gave feli a nice smack on her butt... ouch! hehe... phy was pathetic, and nonsensical. didnt noe wat was the pt of the stupid magnetic-and-paperclips experiment. so lets carry on..

first things first. my dad has some idiotic prob at work. so he's like kinda worried, coz the prob is like kinda huge lah. dunno wat it is, but frm the way he behaves lately, it's absolutely obvious. so, fam and i went out to dinner laz nite. frm our dinning rm till we reach KFC, he was on the phone all the way. yes, he was talking on the hp while driving. talking bout wat? bout his all-impt prob. like, hello? does ur family even appear on ur priorities list? bro wanted to buy a new hp, so he got. and my dad was still on the hp. when he paid 4 the hp, he was still crapping on hp. argh! y am i so pissed off? coz he wouldnt even take a moment to ans my mum's and my Q. we were asking him whether we goin eat first or buy hp. all he 'managed' to do was to stare at us in the fucking rear view mirror. like, an ans wont disconnect the call. and he even borrowed my hp to call, coz he useless batt was flat. yeah, so it's ur prob and u're like getting ur oily face all over my hp? ewww... i made the sour face, and was like throwing the hp to him. i dun give a fuck if my hp spoils. argh! then, at KFC, after getting our seats, he sat, still talking. u noe how frustrated was i? usually, he would take our orders..not wanting to waste time. but this time ard, he juz sat there, staring at my mum. i felt like bursting into tears. he was so unreasonable. surprisingly, he ended his call. he and mum went to order. almost ordered actually. suddenly, dad was like asking mum if she wanted to eat not, coz my mum almost like cant tahan with his fucking attitude anymore rite? so, luckiliy mum was still very patient. dad approach me, and asked the same Q. and of coz i ans 'yeah...then?' his reponse was tt mum and i couldnt have waited 4 him, and could have juz ordered the food. i mean like, was tt reason valid enuf? it was supposed to be a family thing and he spents the time on his stupid work. he practically hurt me... wat more my mum. when the food arrived( he didnt even order with us) i didnt even offered him anything. yet, mum still got him sth. i was like ignoring him at KFC. when he asked for a chicken, i sorta like threw the chicken onto his paper plate. his attittude had realli disgusted me. i told my mum tt he'd better noe his limit, or i wouldnt hesistate to tell him off. i dun give damn. i even told my mum tt i dun care if he disowns me.... told my mum tt im not being rude at all. i so am very frustratted with him. wat the fuck? ur work is more impt than ur family? which law states tt if u have probs at work, u can throw ur trantrums on ur family members? tt u can juz hurt other ppl juz coz u are the 'authoritive' one? i dun give damn whether he's my dad or not. ppl mite think tt im proud and think greatly of him for attaining such a high rank and success in the workforce. yo peeps, im telling u now, straight in the face, tt i am not. his attitude and character irks me so much. fyi, i didnt present him anything on fathers' day, coz i dun think he deserve it. oh yeah, one more thing, when my mum was complaining bout him enuf talking on hp, he told mum tt she was inconsiderate. look who's talking? isnt he's the one? oh...let me recount on those occasions when he was inconsiderate. my... there's alot! and he thinks tt his side of the fucking family is great. wateva. yeah, u peeps maybe smart and all, but wat's all tt when there's no family unity among u bitch and bastards? and he always puts down mum's side of family. he'll give excuses, and watvea coz he's so wrong. i think this is enuf... it was overwhelmingly unexpected tt he could act like alst nite.

when i was in class today, i felt so relieved coz i do have my frens to make me laugh. im glad tt they do listen to me... well, not everytime, but wateva they've done, i do appreciate it so very much. i noe frens are not everything, but they give u the joy and support when u're in the dark period of ur life. they can hurt u, make u cry, but all these do bond u and frens more closer. i feel tt frens understand us, understand how we feel. howeva, at home, i feel i cant open up. do u believe tt i've never talked to my mum bout anything personal? i've never told my parents how sch was, and neither have they asked. but i love my mum...really. i dunno if love exists for her husband. i think tt if u ever tell ur frens a really huge life-and-deathe secret, u'll feel comfortable. i hope so.

sorry to drown u ppl with today's pathetic entry.

those of u who thinks tt they have been my true fren, thank u so much. for those who ever hurt of betray me, i wouldnt say i've forgive u, but ill juz say tt u'll be repaid the same way someday.

ema, thanks 4 ur phone today... and many other times. hehe... love u peeps... realli. thanks for taking time to listen to me, once in a while. thanks 4 making me laugh, and making sch life less dreary.

Smashed into pieces at 7/12/2004 05:15:00 PM